no more titles from songs.
the last one was from Eminem's Sing for the Moment.
it's a new fiscal year next week, and since money is my 2nd favourite thing, why not do a belated new year's resolution?
let's try again this weekend to reload.
to resolve to purge the mind of this obsession
to release
to be in the truth
to let the truth set you free
to look once again for life, and the love that surpasses all understanding
a decisive break, and a resolution, despite there being no resolution.
Friday, 28 March 2008
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
well can it load a gun up for you, and cock it too?
last week: You Once Told Me, Andain
can music alter moods? it certainly can. listening to the ipod can bring you from a wonderful surreal, psychedelic audioscape where you are floating on a sea of endorphins to bring you to a trough where you are stepping through a nettled field of something... which are not endorphins.
i like trance music because trance is one of the few genres of music where the beat, the complexity, and the many channels and possibilities and combinations drown everything else out in an intense wall of sound. an temporary escape from your problems into a small belt of welcome exhiliration amid the ennui.
and ENNUI! ack! sometimes the dark energy inside seems fit to burst out in a berserk frenzy of nihilism. but there's something holding back. is it the helping hand of divine intervention or simply the shackles of cowardice?
i read Naruto on a regular basisand those of you who have been keeping up with the series will know that the Itachi's overuse of the Mangekyo Sharingan, his personal "eye technique", is causing him to lose his eyesight. wondering if the same thing is actually happening to me.
no i don't have his superpowers of ninjutsu or genjutsu. though i wish i did. i'd give my bosses the illusion that i'm actually doing work and deserve a promotion =p
but seriously. those of you who know me know that i read ferociously quickly, and with the amount of crap i have to comb through everyday at work this ability is being taxed to the max. occasionally it hurts plowing through stuff so intensely. not just the eyes but also the mind. there is some sort of decay... the insight comes at a physical, mental and spiritual price. sometimes the processing speed is so fast that the non-reasoning person is unable to take it, and creaks and soon collapses under the weight of knowing too much.
Oh, man with the eyes of fire, you have been put out and put out!
can music alter moods? it certainly can. listening to the ipod can bring you from a wonderful surreal, psychedelic audioscape where you are floating on a sea of endorphins to bring you to a trough where you are stepping through a nettled field of something... which are not endorphins.
i like trance music because trance is one of the few genres of music where the beat, the complexity, and the many channels and possibilities and combinations drown everything else out in an intense wall of sound. an temporary escape from your problems into a small belt of welcome exhiliration amid the ennui.
and ENNUI! ack! sometimes the dark energy inside seems fit to burst out in a berserk frenzy of nihilism. but there's something holding back. is it the helping hand of divine intervention or simply the shackles of cowardice?
i read Naruto on a regular basis
no i don't have his superpowers of ninjutsu or genjutsu. though i wish i did. i'd give my bosses the illusion that i'm actually doing work and deserve a promotion =p
but seriously. those of you who know me know that i read ferociously quickly, and with the amount of crap i have to comb through everyday at work this ability is being taxed to the max. occasionally it hurts plowing through stuff so intensely. not just the eyes but also the mind. there is some sort of decay... the insight comes at a physical, mental and spiritual price. sometimes the processing speed is so fast that the non-reasoning person is unable to take it, and creaks and soon collapses under the weight of knowing too much.
Oh, man with the eyes of fire, you have been put out and put out!
Sunday, 16 March 2008
in a sea, in a dream that's so far away
last week was some spanish song, whose title slips my mind.
the past couple of weeks have been pretty fierce. i don't know how i got the energy to pull those 13-15 hour days and still be bright and perky the next morning. even though i have trouble sleeping, and stress jolts me awake at 2am in the morning thinking about the effect of stock market drops on trading halts and price limits and stuff like that.
either i'm getting used to it, or there's some divine intervention going on here.
have to be careful not to be proud.
which has actually brought some thoughts about working style. for once we're not horsing around here, as this is a real job with real prospects - i guess the internship counts as well, but we all know i wasn't ever working really hard then?
this is different from school. in school other people worked hard, but i got by actually without working really hard. kind of flouncing my way through classes with an easy style, relying 75% on natural brilliance and maturity (ha!) rather than grit and determination. after all, the objective was just score the 6 points, the 4 As, the minimum needed to get to the next level, yes? of course part of it was the whole "safety first" Singapore mechanism, where you were risk-averse ad stayed away from stuff you couldn't really excel at, but i think we got past that in the latter stages of college.
work... is slightly different. a lot of stuff you don't like, so you gotta use grit and determination to get through the worst of the drudgery. you're actually being paid for doing it, so you can't say, "i'll write it off and try again next semester." there are human relationships and office politics. you don't just have to be damn good. you have to show you're damn good. unfortunately, everyone else is also damn good and as damn hardcore as you are. at least those on the same wavelength are, so you gotta be wary of them. those that aren't get jealous too. so gotta manage expectations and jealousies and learn how to taiji stuff away.
trying to be a good and Godly person. not easy.
pride gets in the way, and workaholism is a constant danger. the Rubik's complex demands constant problems to solve, or it creates some of its own. how to "starve the beast"? or chain it back again? especially when this beast is unshackled because another one is frustrated and you gotta keep it from doing something stupid...
the past couple of weeks have been pretty fierce. i don't know how i got the energy to pull those 13-15 hour days and still be bright and perky the next morning. even though i have trouble sleeping, and stress jolts me awake at 2am in the morning thinking about the effect of stock market drops on trading halts and price limits and stuff like that.
either i'm getting used to it, or there's some divine intervention going on here.
have to be careful not to be proud.
which has actually brought some thoughts about working style. for once we're not horsing around here, as this is a real job with real prospects - i guess the internship counts as well, but we all know i wasn't ever working really hard then?
this is different from school. in school other people worked hard, but i got by actually without working really hard. kind of flouncing my way through classes with an easy style, relying 75% on natural brilliance and maturity (ha!) rather than grit and determination. after all, the objective was just score the 6 points, the 4 As, the minimum needed to get to the next level, yes? of course part of it was the whole "safety first" Singapore mechanism, where you were risk-averse ad stayed away from stuff you couldn't really excel at, but i think we got past that in the latter stages of college.
work... is slightly different. a lot of stuff you don't like, so you gotta use grit and determination to get through the worst of the drudgery. you're actually being paid for doing it, so you can't say, "i'll write it off and try again next semester." there are human relationships and office politics. you don't just have to be damn good. you have to show you're damn good. unfortunately, everyone else is also damn good and as damn hardcore as you are. at least those on the same wavelength are, so you gotta be wary of them. those that aren't get jealous too. so gotta manage expectations and jealousies and learn how to taiji stuff away.
trying to be a good and Godly person. not easy.
pride gets in the way, and workaholism is a constant danger. the Rubik's complex demands constant problems to solve, or it creates some of its own. how to "starve the beast"? or chain it back again? especially when this beast is unshackled because another one is frustrated and you gotta keep it from doing something stupid...
Sunday, 9 March 2008
pero mi forma de vivir no es digna de una reina
previous entry: Yeah!, Usher
or as dr soo likes to say, "HHHHWAT? YEEEAAAHHHH!!"
apologies for not posting last week. i was lazy.
i listened to some of Lil'Jon's crunk pieces the other day, and was quite disappointed. the genre has the potential to be a lot more than noise.
thanks to everyone for their wishes on my festival.
gracias a todos para los saludos de mi cumpleano
对在我生日送来祝福的大家，谢谢！
somehow life just feels a little bit empty. the edifice is there, but the rooms have yet to be furnished, and more importantly, yet to be populated.
work is better. it's boring, but i guess it's the whole boot camp thing. first the suffering, then the reward. young ones nowadays, must learn to take failure and pain.
economic or social issue? the coin flip comes up "economic issue"
on the nature of asset bubbles, and their deflation. different types of asset bubbles enrich different types of people (although the investment bankers, hedge fund managers, private equity executives, fat-cat CEOs and other associated thieving scum will try to cream off the top of all of these).
in the 70s, we had the commodity bubble. in the mid 80s, we had some debt bubbles and a little bit of equity (junk). in the 90s, we had a huge equity bubble. the earlier part of this decade saw a real estate / debt bubble. it seems we are swinging into another commodity bubble, which interestingly hit as soon as the previous one ended.
it seems that they are getting closer together? perhaps part of the whole contagion thing. everything just happens faster and faster. but their deflation bankrupts different sectors of the economy, i feel. however, with the increasing expansion of financial services across all asset classes (i.e. where retail was largely limited to real estate and maybe a bit of deposits and equity mutual funds, there are now all kinds of alternatives involved like commodities, HFs, PE, structured products, etc.) are we heading for a big one? and if so how do we guard against it?
much brainpower has been reallocated from developing the "real" economy to the "virtual" one of finance, i believe. not necessarily a good move, although the virtual one is more liquid and flexible and possibly easier to manage. maybe there are opportunities somewhere?
or as dr soo likes to say, "HHHHWAT? YEEEAAAHHHH!!"
apologies for not posting last week. i was lazy.
i listened to some of Lil'Jon's crunk pieces the other day, and was quite disappointed. the genre has the potential to be a lot more than noise.
thanks to everyone for their wishes on my festival.
gracias a todos para los saludos de mi cumpleano
对在我生日送来祝福的大家，谢谢！
somehow life just feels a little bit empty. the edifice is there, but the rooms have yet to be furnished, and more importantly, yet to be populated.
work is better. it's boring, but i guess it's the whole boot camp thing. first the suffering, then the reward. young ones nowadays, must learn to take failure and pain.
economic or social issue? the coin flip comes up "economic issue"
on the nature of asset bubbles, and their deflation. different types of asset bubbles enrich different types of people (although the investment bankers, hedge fund managers, private equity executives, fat-cat CEOs and other associated thieving scum will try to cream off the top of all of these).
in the 70s, we had the commodity bubble. in the mid 80s, we had some debt bubbles and a little bit of equity (junk). in the 90s, we had a huge equity bubble. the earlier part of this decade saw a real estate / debt bubble. it seems we are swinging into another commodity bubble, which interestingly hit as soon as the previous one ended.
it seems that they are getting closer together? perhaps part of the whole contagion thing. everything just happens faster and faster. but their deflation bankrupts different sectors of the economy, i feel. however, with the increasing expansion of financial services across all asset classes (i.e. where retail was largely limited to real estate and maybe a bit of deposits and equity mutual funds, there are now all kinds of alternatives involved like commodities, HFs, PE, structured products, etc.) are we heading for a big one? and if so how do we guard against it?
much brainpower has been reallocated from developing the "real" economy to the "virtual" one of finance, i believe. not necessarily a good move, although the virtual one is more liquid and flexible and possibly easier to manage. maybe there are opportunities somewhere?
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