next phase, next stage, next grade, next wave

i've generally been accused of brooding too much over things. it's a function of having a mind that's too quick by half, an impatient temperament, and a tendency to prefer to do things rather than sit around and bitch about stuff.

as i mentioned previously, it is my sincere belief that i am doomed to be forever lurching from one struggle to another. only Grace keeps me going, and allows me to hack through the endless thickets without getting scratched too badly or falling into holes that are too big. so now that i'm free of that @!$%) exam, the idle mind attracts another crisis... except that this one (exceptionally) does not grow out of one of my hare-brained schemes.

House mentions that the titular character as having a "Rubik's Complex", referring to his obsessive need to solve problems (in this case, diagnosing patients). this problem is as intractable as anything.

i don't like mixed signals. for someone who keeps going by observing and interpreting information, this really gums up the entire system you know? i think you're a wonderful person. you are God-fearing, intelligent, articulate, compassionate, aesthetic, fun-loving, etc etc. i am, quite rightly, flattered by your attention, your care and how you continually (am i looking at it all wrong?) tiptoeing softly into my field of vision, and press all the right buttons to break that rock-hard shell in that particular way.

however:
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

and

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

ok, so the wife / manservant / maidservant / ox / donkey part doesn't really apply, but still you belong to someone else currently.

why am i being tempted like this? i just try to do the right thing. wtf is really going on here?